ugh.....

today = bla...

i should be studying...

that's what i should be doing, but instead i'm thinking about way too much stuff that i need to get done and i'm feeling like time is running out.  like i've only got 12 minutes to get the rest of my life planned out and executed... then i just get executed.  i have tests, homework, papers, reading, studying, all kinds of stuff i am supposed to be doing or preparing for, or at least thinking about.  the only consistent thing i'm doing is listening to music and checking failbook's latest and greatest, i freaking love that website.  it makes me feel a whole lot more intelligent than i really am.  now i know things will balance, that's why i'm whining now while i can.  then i can come back and read this later and say WTF was a thinking?  and laugh lots too, laughing is boss (that's what the youngsters say here at school instead of 'cool' or 'awesome').  yeah i know, nerd ALERT!  peace out for now....

so now i'm 31....

yesterday was my birthday, i'm 31, sitting in a chair staring out the windows at the rain drip dropping outside.  hoping my living room is not drowned.  just heard some pixies, dinosaur jr and now kings of leon.  it's been a good mix.  today was a better day and i'm keeping my fingers crossed that there's even better ones in front of me.  i wish the same for you too...

the beginning in the middle

am i late?  maybe, but maybe not.  it could be that i had to live a little before i could find my way.  read about things i wish i'd done and things i already did.  this is a journey of epic proportions. 

it's interesting how the classes are structured, i'll give you a hint they aren't designed for my learning style.  they do not consider that it's been over 10 years since i wrote anything besides an email, poem or short story with grammatical errors i was not concerned with.  they did not consider that some of the information would be jarring to me, that learning about certain things would cause more self examining than soaking in the information from class.  they didn't consider how the social dynamic would and could cause me to not be able to focus, i never was like the other girls in class and i never did like the guys in class.  being an adult, a self sufficient one for more than 10 years and then being surrounded by kids with no worries is quite an adjustment too.